


Pink moon

by MistyChildontheCastle



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: ... But today is not the day I stop, Brian is an overwhelmed tired man but great parent of a toddler, Falling In Love, Fluff, I swear, In case you were wondering, In short, Love at First Sight, M/M, MPREG! this has ben your warning stop reading if you don't like, Mpreg, Pregnant Brian, Roger is a drummer, and also another kid on the way, i'll stop, soon, who is very smart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyChildontheCastle/pseuds/MistyChildontheCastle
Summary: Roger is a drummer in a band, who never expected to fall in love in a train.Brian teaches music, and math, and anything he can to pay the bills. He has a little girl and another baby on the way, and never expected for a stranger in the train to change his life.Single parent mpreg Maylor fluff





	1. Chapter 1

Roger picked up the little plushie from the floor, and gave it to the crying toddler. It was shaped like a kangaroo (peculiar choice) and the little girl immediately stopped crying when she saw the Kangaroo coming back to her. 

"Here it is." Roger said, with a smile. "Safe and sound."

He didn't usually take the train to go to the city, being the car lover that he was, but he'd crashed last week and the car was still in the garage because those men were the slowest ever. And he liked getting all those looks from people (some recognised him, others were just fascinated by how good looking he was) even if he was screamed at when he arrived to play with the others. But who cared, in that moment Roger didn't, because even if he was going to be late for band practise he'd made this little girl smile, and that was enough. 

She had dark curly hair, a purple dress with stars on it and big bright gray-blue eyes. And a nice smile, once she made sure that her beloved Kangaroo was all right. That was real love. 

"What do we say, honey?" A gentle but tired voice said next to her, probably belonging to her father. 

"Tank you."

Did a two you year old just thank him? Roger broke into a grin, which in turn made the little girl smile bright as the sun as well. 

"This is the politest baby I've ever met. What's her... name?"

Roger slightly stopped breathing a bit when he saw the little girl's father, who was sitting just behind her. Long angular face, great mouth, and unending amount of dark curls framing his face... Wow. This was a beautiful man. He also had very long legs, great hands, and oooh... big round stomach. He was pregnant, apparently, and quite far along from the looks of it. Well, he had a very polite and smiley little girl, he was probably a great parent (even though he looked really tired and like he was barely keeping tears at bay). (Roger felt a sudden desire to hug the man forever). The man looked at his daughter and asked:

"What's your name, honey?"

"A- tina."

"It's Katrina, but I'm afraid she can't do the "tr" too well yet. And thank you for picking up her toy, I'm afraid I can't bend over as well as I used to." The nice voice said, turning Roger's insides into jelly. Which was not good, because this person was obviously in a relationship with someone. It would be just a passing train ride fancy, nothing else. The man safely tucked Katrina in the stroller and then started picking up his bags, because apparently he'd just been grocery shopping. There weren't many bags, but some of them were very... voluminous, and hard to control. And taking everything while trying to maneuver the stroller too was too much, too complicated.... Shit. A pregnant person shouldn't be carrying all that weight, right?

"Let me help you." Roger said, taking a couple of the bags. 

"Is this your stop too?"

Roger decided to lie. 

"Yes. Of course. My stop, totally."

Roger was very bad at lying. 

Katrina's dad smiled and Roger kept talking. 

"I don't have anything better to do, really" (another lie, Roger? the guys in the band are going to kill you!!) "and I just can't... it's wrong for you be taking all this weight. Let me walk you home, I have the time."

He just walked out the train with the mystery man he couldn't take his eyes off of and his daughter, feeling terribly giddy. This was... strange, different. Usually the person trying to flirt with him was the giddy nervous one and he was the one with a confident smile, telling them "don't worry, you're doing just fine". He was the (relatively) famous drummer, he was the one with the long blond hair and flawless chest and belly, he was the one who could drum and sing at the same time. And yet... 

Katrina was smiling at him, and hugged her toy strongly. 

"She likes you. And she doesn't like many people." The man's soothing voice said, and Roger thought that maybe he wanted to wake up next to that voice forever, which was stupid because this man was probably already married. 

"She's the smartest baby I've ever met."

Katrina's eyes lit up, as if she understood the compliment. 

"I'm Roger, by the way."

"Well, Roger, I'm Brian. Let me get you a cup of coffee or something when we get home, all right? I'm afraid there's no beer or anything like that at the moment, but..."

"I'd love a cup of coffee." Roger said, flashing one of his very charming smiles. 

They chatted a bit on the way to Brian's place. About the weather, about trains, about how little they cared about football. It was very easy to talk to Brian, much easier than a lot of his actual real friends, with whom conversation run dry very quickly without the aid of alcohol. Which was... curious, because all the other parents of young kids he'd met couldn't talk about anything else than children related stuff. But Brian could talk about the dry winter, about the price of cookies, about how tired one was after a not sleeping properly the previous night. He was a really interesting guy, even though he knew practically nothing about him.

Roger was almost sad when they reached the apartment, the way there had been so nice... but when he got in he discovered something more he and this man had in common.

"You play?"

There was a beautiful red guitar in a couch in the (surprisingly small) messy apartment where Brian and Katrina lived. 

"Yeah, I'm not the greatest guitarist in the world but I do play occasionally. And you... I don't see you as a guitarist... singer maybe?"

After all the horrible things people had said about his voice (that it was annoying, too high, too odd, a little girl's voice, you should focus on the drums, because with that voice...) Roger felt terribly flattered. 

"I play the drums, but I sing a bit too."

Brian placed Katrina in her high chair and gave her some juice to drink. She'd been... quiet, during the walk there. Letting them continue their conversation. Odd. She smiled at

Roger when he looked at her. 

" -uice"

Sure, juice. There was something that baby knew that he didn't. 

Roger helped Brian put the groceries away and noticed there was no sign of Brian's significant other. No pictures, no clothes, no nothing. Which was odd. 

"Coffee or tea?"

Roger opted for coffee and sat on the uncomfortable couch of Brian's small living while the other man prepared it. 

"It's really beautiful. Your guitar, I mean,"

"Thanks, I built it myself." 

A man who can build a fucking guitar and look that good in maternity clothes? Someone was very lucky. Someone who didn't seem to be around much. 

"Forgive me if this is too personal, but... Do you live here alone? With Katrina, I mean."

Brian's voice was barely above a whisper. 

"...yes." 

There was pain in his eyes and Roger was sorry he ever asked. Way to ruin a perfectly nice morning, Roger. 

"Sorry, if you don't want to talk about it..."

"Actually, I could use a friendly ear. It's been rough, dealing with everything alone."

"Alone?"

"The... father of Kat, he wasn't around much. He said he didn't want to be a parent yet and I said I would do it alone. Which I've been doing. But then he came back, saying that he wanted to be there for her, and for me, that he regretted leaving us... And then he left again. And now..."

"What an asshole." Roger said, hating this person more than... more than people that bumped his car. That much. How could he leave the most adorable baby girl and the most beautiful guitar player ever? Nonsense. 

"And I believed him. When he said he had left his old, he had thought a lot about us and that I was the one he wanted... He probably just had a got bored and needed someone to... I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you all of this, you're just a kind stranger..." 

Roger smiled, sat next to this man he was decided to make his own. 

"Kind stranger and friendly ear. Don't forget. We all need someone to listen every once in a while."

There was a sad smile in Brian's face. It shouldn't be sad. It should just be a smile. 

"Why don't I invite you and little Kat to lunch?"

".... you've already done enough. We wouldn't want to keep you."

And the guys from the band were going to kill him for not showing up. They had a big concert coming and Freddie said that he wanted to discuss some changes with all of them and go over the new setlist and they couldn't very well do that without a drummer, right? Well, they would have to wait. Brian was being sad now and Kat was being cute and something needed to be done about that. 

"When was the last time you were invited to eat out? That's right, it's been too long. Let's talk about something nicer on the way. Uh! Tell me about your guitar! I'll tell you about my epic drum solos, too."

Brian smiled again, and this time it didn't look so sad. Kat giggled in the background. 

Roger was so stupidly glad he'd taken the train that day.


	2. Chapter 2

Brian was quite sure that he had to be hallucinating. This couldn't be true, right? The most beautiful man in the world suddenly saw him on the train and decided that he would help him, and even invite him to lunch. It made no sense whatsoever, it was an elaborate fantasy coming true. Maybe it was some sort of fever dream, he'd been coming down with something those last few days.... But if he was on some floor with foam in his mouth and his eyes rolled up in his head, dreaming of some gorgeous stranger taking an interest on him, where was Kat? Was anyone looking after her? What about the baby? Would he be ok? Brian had got rather attached to him. But no, this was too detailed and too long to be some symptom, some daydream. But it made no sense... Roger was too good to be true.

He was easily the most beautiful man Brian had seen in his life, he had a charm and a joy sparking through him that felt... otherworldly, almost. He had the most beautiful big blue eyes, amazing long blonde hair, a smile that could light up entire cities. He also had a very cute high voice and he walked with such confidence and drive... He really was something else.

And a drummer, too! This man was not just incredibly beautiful and kind (retrieving Kookoo the kangaroo, helping him with the bags, inviting him to lunch? Too much), he was willing to listen to him and his sob story, and still after that wanted to spend more time with Brian. When he looked positively awful, big and bloated on his midsection, too pale and thin on his face, awful raccoon eyes, messy wild hair. It made no sense that someone like Roger (super hottie alert) would be interested in him. There had to be something else, some terrible ulterior motive, like baby trafficking....

Stop overthinking everything and take the offered lunch, you idiot. Enjoy while it lasts _._

Brian splashed some water on his face and went out again. Roger seemed to be even more beautiful than before he'd gone to the bathroom. It was hard not to get lost on him, not to stare. But he had to. He checked on Kat, put her on her mat on the floor so she could play with her toys and then looked again at the man on his couch, smiling with that mug of coffee. Ugh. Brian wanted to do something to impress him, so that the drummer would know that he had things to offer beyond baggage and sadness, but he didn't know what.

"That's a great guitar." Roger said. "Could you play me something?"

Yes _,_ good _,_ play him something _!_ The music will distract him from how awful you look _!_

"Any requests or should I play something of mine?"

Roger's perfect eyebrows shot up.

"You write music too? Then I want some of that, no doubt."

Brian smiled (his hands were shaking, this was so not good), sat on a chair in front of Roger, plugged the guitar put a cushion on his belly for buffering and started playing a solo he'd been working on for some time. Roger seemed to be a man of good tastes, considering what little conversation they had... And Brian didn't want to let go of this dream, even if he still couldn't quite believe it.

Roger smiled all the way (and god, was that a smile Brian wanted to see the whole rest of his life and he didn't think he would get tired of it, not even in fifty years) and then clapped at the end.

"That was... so awesome, man! That's what I call rock and roll."

Now he was complimenting his music too? Could he be any more perfect?

(Also, Katrina liked him. And she, despite her very few years, was a pretty good judge of character. This Roger had it all)

Brian couldn't help but stare as they walked to the restaurant, all three of them. Roger was so energetic, so full of life. (And music, apparently). Brian loved every second he could spend with such a special individual, even as he ranted about things, burning hatred in his blue eyes as he talked about their current guitarist.

"He's just... the worst, I tell you, the worst." The man was really one of the most expressive people Brian had ever met. "He's not just a bad person, which he is, absolutely, but he's also a mediocre player. No creativity, no fire! Bad technician, can't even tune his guitar properly! What use is having a singer as incredible as Freddie if we have a guitarist as bad as Paul? And the fact that I can't stand him has nothing to do with what a bad guitarist he is."

Brian smiled. He could totally see himself in Roger's band, sharing ideas, finally finding a place for his songs... He spoke to Roger, trying not to get lost on fantasies.

"Do you write songs too? I bet you do, and they're very rock and roll too. Raw unapologetic energy."

Roger brightened at that, delighted by the comment.

"I DO! I need to show you sometime!"

The food at the restaurant was great. They laughed a lot (Roger had a greeeat sense of humour) and Brian was able to eat proper decent food. Money had been so tight lately, there hadn't been much on the way of fancy elegant ingredients the last months, especially knowing how many expenses were coming when the baby was born. The food was great... but the company was even better. Roger was full of stories, and took an interest to Brian's life too. Almost too much to handle.

When Brian came back from yet another bathroom break, Katrina was smiling at his... date?

"Goyer" She said and clapped. "Goyer."

Roger was smiling, proud. Something had happened there.

( _"Hey kid, hi, I'm Roger. You know me, I got you the Kangaroo back?"_

_Katrina smiled. Good._

_"You remember that, Roger - saviour of the Kangaroo. Roger equals me equals good"_

_"Go - yer?"_

_"Yes! You're the cleverest girl in the universe, Katrina. Now, since you are so smart and nice... Could you like get a good word in for me with your dad? Just some smiles at me, like hey, this guy's awesome!"_

_"Daddy?"_

_"Yes, your daddy! Could you lend me a hand? I kind of like him."_ )

So Katrina was clapping at Roger? She liked him that much? Brian grinned, feeling a stupid surge of love for this semi-stranger.

Roger winked at Katrina and she smiled, taking Brian to yet another fantasy land where they were all family, they played music together and both his children had someone as great as Roger with them, and he had somebody to hold every night...

Get a grip on yourself, Brian! You barely know this guy.

But Roger's eyes were bright as stars themselves, and his lips were so inviting, and....

Stop getting your hopes up. Look at yourself. This beautiful human being wouldn't be interested in that way in someone like you, specially looking how you look.

"You probably have more important things to do, Roger. I... wouldn't want to keep you."

"But I don't want to go home!" Roger said, almost pouting. "Let me walk you guys back home. Wait, you're probably tired, right? Let me call a cab."

Brian felt bad that Roger was paying for everything... But it had been a great few hours, that morning he'd been barely keeping tears at bay and now he felt... well, happy, and he owed it to Roger. He didn't want to say goodbye either, but had no excuse to keep this going... When they got home, Roger asked to use the bathroom and Brian put Katrina to sleep (nap time was sacred) and checked his voicemail. Shit. Next morning's student had cancelled his weekly three hours of class, and didn't know if he would be able to come the next week either. Shit, shit. He'd been counting on that money.

"Why the long face?"

Roger said, as he came back out.

Brian briefly explained, as he rubbed his belly (what kind of future could he give this poor baby? His daughter? It wasn't fair) and Roger sat down next to him.

"You should be our new guitarist, you know? I didn't want to say anything yet, because I didn't want to sound pushy, or excessive, 'cos we've just met, but you're really good, and I know, I KNOW, you would work well with us, and there's this little... like daycare thing in one of the rooms of the studio where John leaves his kids sometimes, I'm sure they would love playing with Kat..."

"Roger, you're sweet, but..."

"No, just think about it! You're free tomorrow morning, right? Come with her, you leave Kat in the daycare and just... tune Paul's guitar, ok? We'll pay you some money for your service so your morning won't go to waste and I can introduce you to the guys, remind them of what a good guitarist is. It's not the first time I've done that, either, so they won't be surprised. I just.... really want to get rid of Paul."

Brian looked at this man who was so kind to him, looking with hopeful blue eyes. After all he'd been through Brian thought he'd lost the ability to love, to be hopeful, to have someone... But he was in love with this man, who had come out of nowhere and suddenly...

"Roger, as much as I would like to be in your band, and see you every day, I... don't see how anyone else would accept me."

"You let me work on that, ok? Your kid likes me, and she's the cleverest toddler in the universe, right? Trust her judgement. Just come tomorrow, tune that bloody thing. We'll figure out the rest later."

Roger smiled.

Brian was in love. Shit, he was so in love with a man way out of his league.

"Brian?"

"Yes."

"You look exhausted. Put your head on my shoulder, come on, before Kat wakes up from her nap. Rest."

Brian did, and even if all this seemed to rushed.... He wanted to be there, smelling Roger, forever.

"Things will get better, Brian. I'll make sure of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time maybe the band teases Roger on his very obvious crush? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

To say that Brian was nervous would be a big understatement. Not only was he going to see Roger again, which on its own made him quite nervous, but he was also going to meet a band that was fairly successful, and fucking tune a guitar for them. This could open the door to many other little services he could do, and help economically a lot. If he was there for them, if he could become some sort of assistant... He could end up with a real job and be able to provide properly for Katrina and the baby. This was an incredible opportunity, and he had to make the best of it.

He put the last white button up shirt that still fit (if only barely) and one of his black blazers. Was it too much? He was only going to tune a guitar, he wasn't supposed to dress up too much, right? Just a temporary techie. No need to make it a bigger deal than it was - it would probably be a one time thing, no need to get his hopes up. The baby complained in his belly (well, he just moved around, but it felt like complaining) and Brian remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since the previous day's lunch. He'd been so nervous, so distracted... 

It wasn't just that band. Roger was going to be there, the same man who got Kookoo the Kangaroo, and invited him and his daughter to lunch, and even found him a little job when he was depressed about his cancelled classes. Roger had shown a lot of interest for him, and Brian wanted to return the favour, wanted to somehow let the drummer know how much these gestures meant to him, how much he appreciated them. This was important, and it was important that he did it well, for himself, for the kids (they really needed the money), for Roger. 

The same Roger who was equally concerned about was going to happen that morning. Not about Brian's performance (he knew it was going to be awesome) but about the other guys' reactions. Nobody had been too pleased when, after being off the grid and missing a whole day of rehearsal he had reappeared saying that Paul couldn't be there because some other guy, who was so much better, was going to come and tune the guitar properly. 

Some guy who was "really super good" but that they couldn't be harsh with because "he's been through so much shit, guys, just give him a chance". In other words, yesterday Roger hadn't come because he'd found his next boy-toy and because this guy played guitar, he decided it was a good idea to try and get rid of Paul again, using this new person. 

Freddie didn't have time for this, yes, Paul wasn't the greatest performer ever, but he was always there when you needed him (and when you didn't too, he was ALWAYS there) and he could play the notes. And he knew them and how to deal with each one of them (he knew, for example, to stay clear of Roger and his ever growing hatred) and he was good at following orders, even if he often tried subterfuges and tricks to get what he wanted too. 

But this new guitarist guy... They'd known Roger's flings before and nobody had the capacities or the commitment necessary to be full time in a band, much less a band as demanding as Queen. Because yes, he said that it was only to tune the guitar, but they all knew that Roger was going to try and convince them that they should hire this person he'd spent the day with to be in the band. He'd done this before. 

"Hi, guys." Roger said, just as he came in the studio." 

He didn't look like other times, though. He'd dressed up, carefully done his hair, he was looking better than ever, and not even slightly drunk or hangover. Peculiar. 

"You'll see. You're going to love Brian."

Brian was arriving at the studio, scared senseless (he hadn't been with real musicians in years, he could feel his heart going up and down in his chest) and asked for the daycare before anything. Katrina didn't need his nerves - and she could use with some time with other kids her age. He never found the time to go to the park, and didn't have any friends with kids her age, so she hadn't made a lot of friends yet. The daycare was a better place than anything Brian could have been able to afford, with lots of toys and a couple of other boys close to her age, so he didn't didn't feel bad leaving her there. 

"Bye, daddy."

"Bye, my angel."

If everything collapsed and became just a memory of a beautiful man and an opportunity that never went anywhere, at least he would have her. But now came the time to face the reason why he'd come. 

Roger drew an enormous smile when he saw him coming. 

"Brian, hey, so glad you made it. You left Katrina with John's kids? Brian has a little girl who is super intelligent, I hope I can see her before you leave."

"I'm sure she'll be delighted to see you again." Brian said with that voice of his, and everyone could see the stars in his eyes. 

This was... definitely not what they've been expecting. Usually Roger hooked up with skinny fans who looked at him they way he was looking at this guy, awestruck. The tall man was obviously very smitten too, but seeing Roger like that... And there was also the fact that this guy was not his usual beauty pageant winner type of person. No, he had a certain appeal, very intense eyes, legs longer than the entire milky way and a nice sad smile - but he wasn't a classically pretty man. Oh, and he was pregnant. Roger had hooked up with a pregnant guy that had a daughter. Roger _I sleep with two girls in the same night and hope I'm not caught_ was crushing on a guy with children. Wow. 

"Freddie, John, this is Brian. Brian, that's Freddie and that's John."

"Pleasure to meet you," Brian said, hoping that his voice wouldn't break. "I've listened to your music, is... quite good." 

Quite good? Dammit Brian, first sentence and you've ruined it already!

But Freddie smiled. He liked this Brian, he had spunk. They hadn't even finished shaking hands and he was already offering his opinions, even before doing the job he was supposed to. Not a man that easily took orders then. Roger was smiling behind them. 

"Why not very good? What doesn't live up to your standards, darling?"

"Well, the guitar, of course. The... notes, the melodies aren't bad, but they're performed with no joy, no soul. You would think that a band with such strong vocals, drums and bass would have something better on the guitars... I'm sorry, this is so not my place. I shouldn't..."

"Oh, please, dear, you haven't said anything we haven't thought before. But it's so difficult to find a good guitarist, you know?"

"I can guess."

"You've never played in a band before?" John asked, speaking for the first time. He was also quite intrigued by why Roger would have chosen a man like this. 

"I did."

"What happened?"

"They kicked me out when I told them I was pregnant. I said I could still play, but they wanted nothing to do with me."

"Ooh, poor boy." Freddie said, cringing. That was an ugly move. Brian smiled among his curls. The memory hurt, but it had passed long ago.

"But time puts everyone in their place, right? No they have no band because they could never find a guitarist as good as me and I have a beautiful daughter who loves the sound of the guitar. Where's the one I have to tune?"

Roger was enjoying this a lot. It was true that the guitar was their weak point and they all knew it, and it was amazing that Brian had pointed out so clearly and quick. He loved the surprised faces on Freddie and John and he loved the confidence Brian had on his guitar playing skills. 

"Oh, you poor thing... Tell your guitar player that he can't have his instrument in such an state. There's parts that I could try and fix, but some have to be replaced... I'm talking out of turn again, aren't I? Please forgive me."

"Nonsense, dear. You keep telling us those hard truths. Maybe it's what we needed." Freddie said. 

Brian tuned the guitar, still feeling terrible and avoiding the other's gaze. 

"There, tuned. Sorry about..."

"Stop apologizing. Why don't you play something? Roger keeps saying you're good, I think we'd like to decide for ourselves." John said. 

This was the moment everyone had been waiting for, especially Roger. By bringing Brian he was a) Improving the band considerably b) Helping a family in economic distress and c) helping himself look better in the eyes of the dude he was in love with. Win win. Also, he couldn't wait to send an "I told you so" look at the other two when they heard Brian and suddenly couldn't go back. He was sure that they were expecting some amateur - now they would have to eat their words. Roger handed Brian a pillow he'd brought for him ("you know, for buffering")

"I... I hope I'm not intruding, but... I thought of something that I think would go well with Roger's song... Modern times rock 'n roll?"

He'd thought of a solo for his song? It was indeed a tragedy that a song like that didn't have a proper guitar solo, that was so thoughtful. And so Brian played, and even if he didn't have his own guitar with him he managed to get more energy, more beauty and more intensity to the notes than Paul or any of the other guitarist they'd tried out ever managed. It was a good solo and it was going to work wonderfully with that song, improve it a lot. 

Roger's I TOLD YOU SO look could probably be seen from outer space. 

"That was good." John admitted. "You're good. I thought you could be good for a boyfriend of Roger's-"

"John!"

"-but you're good in general. You heard the song and you made something that went well with the style of it, but also has a personality of its own."

Roger smiled. Brian blushed. 

"Yeah, yeah, it was very rock and roll, darling, but I have a question for our curly haired friend (great hair by the way, mate, we'll have to work on the clothes, but don't touch the hair). And the question is: can you sing? Because I'd love to have someone else to sing backing vocal, John is convinced that he can't sing and I don't want Paul's voice in our recordings, so: can you sing? I'd love to have someone that could soften Roger's voice's sharp edges."

"I...can sing. I don't know if I can sing properly, I only ever sing to my children. " (Yeah, he sang to the baby bump too. Brian wanted his children to find a shelter and home in music, to always have that)

"You write, right? I can sense that you write songs. Sing us one of your songs, why don't you?"

Brian asked for an acoustic guitar and looked at Roger for strength. Do it for him, for Kookoo, for that great lunch, for the taxi back home, for this opportunity. He needed to be the best, needed to show Roger, do it for Roger. 

And to Roger he sang

"You've never heard my song before, the music was too loud..."

The song was magical, in an understated way. Sweet and touching, slow but never boring, great imagery in the lyrics, deeply sad but at the same time full of hope. Brian could sing. He could sing all right. 

Roger wanted to say to the others "Well, we get him in the band, right?" but could see the hesitation in the others' faces. Brian understood that they were going to talk about him and left, anxious. 

"I'm going to go check on my daughter, thanks for having me. Pleasure to meet you."

"Don't leave the studio, all right? I'll go back to see Kat and give you the money."

"Thank you, Roger."

The moment Brian left, the other three looked at each other. The tension was so high you could almost see it. 

"Why the hell can't I tell him welcome to the band? You've heard him play, you've heard him sing! He thought up that solo in an afternoon, he can write songs, too. Didn't you say that you wished for a band where everybody wrote, everybody sang?"

"And it was a good song, too. Maybe not single material, but good music." John said, not helping matters much. 

"I know, I know!" Freddie said, conflicted. "Obviously he's a very gifted musician and I would love to have him with us, but...."

"But what, Fred?"

"But he's pregnant." Freddie said, unable to phrase it in a way that wouldn't bother Roger."And he's what, six months along? That's three months until he gives birth and another three or four while he recovers. And even then he'll have two very young children under his care..."

"John has kids too!"

"But he has Veronica."

"So that's it? Just because some bastard abandoned him, he misses the chance to be in a band he clearly should be in? That's rich."

"We have deadlines, Roger. We have tours, we have album release dates...." Freddie said, but not even him was convinced. 

"If you got sick, or me, we would wait. You would tell the producers and everyone to go screw themselves until I was better. You would postpone. He can still sing for some time, we can do those grand vocals you wanted to, Fred!"

"We are just beginning to get well known, we can't just wait around for months for some guy because he's good with the guitar and has pretty eyes! This isn't just some band, this is Queen!"

"Because it's Queen it can't continue to have a mediocre guitar.... wait, where's John?"

  
*

Brian smiled as he approached his daughter, who lit up when she saw him. 

"Daddy!!!"

"Hello, honey!"

"Look, daddy, my fiends."

"Hello, boys. Having fun?" The older one nodded, the other just looked confused.

Katrina ran to Brian's arms and the other two boys seemed heartbroken. 

"I've never seen them latch on to anyone else so quickly. Robert's almost crying to see her go."

Shit. That was John, the bassist. Where the hell had he come from?

"Who he?" Katrina asked, and John smiled. Brian explained.

"This is John, he's a friend of Roger. You remember Roger?"

"Yes!" She said, and clapped again, keeping up her promise of "putting a nice word out with her dad for him". 

"She's lovely." John said, and of course, Katrina answered. 

"Tank you."

John sighed. There was something he needed to say.

"I just... I know what it is. Having children but wanting to make it in a band, loving music too much to give it up. Bending yourself over backwards, because music doesn't pay that well, and you've got mouths to feed. I know the struggle. I can't promise you anything, but I'll talk to my wife, maybe she'll be able to help with your kids too? She loves children. And since my boys and your Katrina get on already..."

Brian felt all the emotions he'd been keeping on a leash suddenly overwhelm him.

"She only has me. I wish I could give her friends and someone else to look after her..."

"Don't beat yourself up. She's obviously very well looked after, she's happy, she's healthy, she's clever and very polite, thanking me like that. You're doing a good job. And you deserve a place in a band, ours or another one. We'll convince Fred."

"Thanks, John."

John just nodded. There were some things you didn't play with. 

"I'll have to go, give her lunch. Ok, honey, what do you say to your friends?"

"Byeee. Seee soon!"

Brian's heart broke. 

"But honey, I don't know if you'll be able to see them again, I'm sorry."

"I'm sure she will." Another voice said. 

"Goyerrrrrrrr"

"That's right, little kitty Kat, it's me!"

"I'm going to leave you two alone, try to cheer up my grief stricken boy" (Robert kept asking for "...ina" as he saw the little girl get further. She said they would be friends!)

Roger and Brian (and Kat) were alone now. Roger so badly wished he could tell the other man that he was in the band already, but....

"Brian, I just..."

"No, Roger." Roger's heart stopped. Had he heard the conversation about him? It was such a mean thing to say, we can't have him because he's pregnant, we can't have him because he has no one to look after his kids. But no. "I... even if nothing comes of this, you gave me a chance to play, to sing. You have no idea how much I missed that, how much I needed it. There are no words to describe how grateful I feel, but just... I don't now why you've given me this opportunity, but I don't want it to go to waste. Tomorrow evening, my place. I'll cook you dinner. Please say yes."

Roger wasn't going to say yes, why would he? When Brian was nothing but a mess, a liability, someone that they would have to wait for so long for.... 

"I'd love that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the weird chapter! I just wanted the band in somehow. Hope you liked anyways! Next time their first official date? Mostly Roger's POV


	4. Chapter 4

"No, no, no!"

This was the fourth outfit Roger had tried on for his date at Brian's place and none of them seemed to work. They weren't good enough, he didnt look pretty enough. And he wanted to look stunning, Brian had gone to the trouble of cooking for him and he wanted to show his appreciation. Did this jacket say "I want to eat you alive in a slow, pleasurable manner?" or did he want to go for something for more subtle, something that said, "hey, buddy, if you like what you're seeing just wait until see what's underneath". He wanted to be sexy, without being too excessive - but still making his intentions clear.

He looked at himself in the mirror, imagining the other man taking his clothes off....

"Pace yourself, Roger Taylor. Control."

Really, he needed to lower down the intensity of this whole thing. It was becoming too much. He sat on his bed, in the midst of his discarded clothes, put his head on his hands and tried to breathe. This was not like him, not like him at all. Usually he would just wear whatever he felt like, was his charming self and managed to get whoever he wanted to fall head over heels for him. He didn't know why this was so different. He'd literally just met this guy a couple of days ago.

And he had other more important things to concern himself with. If they didn't stop him, Paul may start turning in songs (a shiver went through him at the mere notion). Roger needed to be there to make sure something like that didn't happen, that Freddie and John's songs weren't too happy and positive and BORING. He needed to be there to add the spunk they needed.

And Freddie had been right in one thing, they had deadlines, they had stuff they were supposed to be finishing, and Roger had missed a lot of practice, because of the car, or some girl, last time because of Brian... And he still had a place to look after and cigarettes to buy, and songs to write. Not to mention choosing a new stage outfit and picking up the car, maybe some grocery shopping...

So yes, Brian was a very special guy, incredibly handsome and an excellent musician, but Roger shouldn't be so into this, he should put some distance, try and not fall in love with the guy so soon. He had more important things to do (and people to do! Why should he tie himself down so soon, when he had so many other options?) and really, he had just met Brian very recently. Probably good to put up some defenses.

His defenses melted the moment Brian opened his apartment door with one of those kind smiles.

"So glad you could come, Roger. Come in."

He came in, said hello to Katrina, who had just finished her dinner and was still in her high chair, wearing some cute pyjamas with frogs (animals seemed to be a theme with her) and then took a good look at his host for the evening.

Roger was supposed to be trying to put some distance, to not... get so excited about this guy he barely knew, but it was hard. Unlike him, who decided to wear a flashy multicolour jacket and his trademark butterfly pants, Brian was only wearing a fairly open white shirt (tighter around the big belly. Roger felt overcome with a need to touch, maybe even kiss that big tummy) with a small metal necklacke, and some fairly form-fitting black sweatpants. They both looked fucking fantastic, which didn't help Roger's intention of distancing himself. He just wanted to get closer.

Brian spoke:

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything fancier, I spent most of what I earned with you guys in things for the baby, because a lot of Kat's stuff is broken or frayed.... It's just pasta, but I made the tomato sauce and the bread." Brian said, looking nervous, with that lovely voice of his.

"You made the bread?"

"It was a hobby I used to have." And he smiled.

Roger was getting lost on those hazel eyes, on that cute blush when he noticed Roger staring...  _No, Roger, focus. Don't get too close, don't throw yourself into the arms of this man_ , a voice inside him said.  _But he made you bread!_ another replied,  _how fucking cute is that???_

Right, there was something he brought.

"I got this for Katrina, I know she won't be able to read for a while yet, but..."

It was a small book about Kangaroos for children, with lots of illustrations and fun facts. Katrina absolutely lit up when she saw it and frantically starting going through the pages before stopping and saying a quick and smiley "tank you, goyer".

"That was so sweet of you, Roger. You really didn't need to."

Despite the excitement, Katrina was taken to sleep fairly soon, (they left her room door open to hear if there was any trouble) and Roger was left with his date and some wine (Brian wasn't drinking, so it was all for him. Good).

"So, Roger, tell me about drumming, I feel I don't know enough. Is it true you can tune drums? The drmmer in my previous band never did it."

Oh, boy. Was this a topic Roger loved to talk about. For the next minutes Roger told his gorgeous date about the technique in drum tuning, about the difference between different drums and about the importance of his instrument. Sure, he played other things too, but drums were like the backbone of rock and roll, of the music they did. And Brian listened attentively while Roger ate his pasta and downed yet another glass of wine. This was so incredible, because usually guitarists only cared about themselves, about their instrument.

But Brian....

Roger knew many things. He knew that he was good looking and talented enough to be with whoever he wanted. He also knew that he enjoyed sleeping with whoever he pleased, flirting with everyone that caught his eye, basking in the admiration of fans. And yet...

He also knew that this bread was fucking delicious (on top of everything, this guy could cook?) and that the little adam's apple on Brian's neck going up and down as he laughed was driving him crazy. He would scratch his belly with a smile as he listened to Roger, and the blond felt that maybe his chest would burst.

Brian got up to pick up the plates, and Roger was a bit drunk from all that wine, and there was a bit of sauce in the corner of Brian's mouth and of course Roger had to clean with a napkin... Their faces were so close, they could hear each other breathing, they could almost hear the want. The slightly intoxicated Roger decided to act on what he was feeling and there was a sweet, soft kiss on the lips.

Brian's eyes shone when they broke the kiss, prompting Roger to do it again, more intensely this time. He held Brian's broad waist and just went into it, trying to be soft and gentle, but in a way that showed how deeply he wanted this. How much.

Brian was smart and beautiful, and actually cared about what Roger did, about him and his music. The alcohol loosened his thoughts that flew out of his uncontrollably.

"Brian... I know we've just met... But you're really fucking special, and you're hot and I just... I want you with me. Forever."

_Wow. So much for pacing yourself, Roger._

There were tears, actual tears in Brian's eyes and Roger wiped them with a rough, worn finger.

"What's wrong?"

"You'll leave me too, so why do this? Why even... start... make me...."

Oh, it was about this guy who had abandoned him AGAIN. Maybe it also had something to do with pregnancy hormones, but yeah, that douche....he'd really broken poor Brian up, huh?

"Don't cry, hey, don't cry." But Roger let him cry, all he needed, and rested Brian curly head on his chest. Perhaps this was not the fanciest, wildest date ever. But maybe it didn't need to be.

"I'm here. I'm not leaving."

Now Roger knew, for a fact, that there was no way he could pace himself, control what he was feeling, or not fall completely in love with the man in front of him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time band news! And more cute Roger and Katrina


	5. Chapter 5

Freddie was very troubled. Conflicted, even. He really didn't know what to do. He'd started this band with just Roger, when the drummer's band fell apart. Roger was an amazing drummer, who looked after his instrument, who was dedicated to the extreme of drumming until his hands were bleeding, and he also wrote song and sang backing vocals - he was a complete musician, great musician, as anyone in Queen should be.

Then came the search of bassist, which was a nightmare. The people who seemed nice enough were bad musicians, the good musicians had personalities that didn't go well with them. For months, MONTHS, they were looking for people, trying them out and all those months it was an absolute disaster, that held them back for so long. But then, by some miracle they found John, who was a great guy on top of being a great bassist, who also wrote great songs, who was even better than what they'd been hoping for.

Now came the search for a guitar player, which was no easy feat. There were a lot of guitarists, yes, but so many of them were conceited jerks. Roger had been right when he said that all guitarist are vain, even if that seemed a bit too much of a big generalisation. So many of them were so arrogant, playing their solos and hoping for the biggest applause, when their music was mediocre at best. But they didn't want to spend as much as they did with John, so they accepted Paul and continued with their songs and gigs. An album was in the making and they got it out, and became fairly famous. Then another one.

But the situation was not sustainable. Roger absolutely hated Paul, and Freddie knew, as much as he appreciated their first albums, that the guitar work was weak. Himself, John and Roger were excellent musicians, and Paul wasn't. And they were a rock band, for the love of god, they should have good guitars.

Something told Freddie that Brian was a musician that came across once in a lifetime. He looked well after his guitar, the solo he'd done had been very strong, and the song he sang... It had been beautiful. Unspeakably sad, and yet hopeful at the same time. Soft and understated to compensate for his own grandeur, a cool pretty moon to compensate for all of John's sunny songs. He had a beautiful voice, too. Soft and gentle, that would work beautifully with Roger's raw and raspy one for all the backing vocals. This was who they were waiting for, and the fact that Roger wanted him in the band because he wanted to bed him didn't change what a great musician he was.

But... Those children. Being a band as popular as Queen was a big commitment, meant a lot hours, a lot of dedication. And Freddie had no doubt Brian would be willing to put in the time, seeing how much he lit up when he was allowed to play, but he had a little girl and he would have a newborn in some short months, and he had no one to look after them. Roger had been right, of course, when he said that it wasn't fair that because some idiot abandoned him he should miss out on the band. That wasn't fair, yes, but they had commitments, they should be touring now that people knew them....Still, John had recorded Brian's audition and told Freddie to just "listen to it some more times before reaching a decision" and reminded him to know that "Veronica will look after his kids, I talked to her. Don't let that stop you".

And so Freddie listened, again.

_You've never heard my song before....._

*

Roger hadn't been able to see Brian in the last couple of days and he already missed the man like crazy.

He'd been busy picking up the car, then noticing it hadn't been fixed properly so going back to the garage, demanding the money back or else, it had been a whole drama. Then (even if he had forgotten), he had his sister's birthday celebration and he'd had to buy a present and stay there with her and his parents the whole evening. By the time he got back home, it was too late to call Brian. Katrina would be sleeping, and the man could use the rest, too.

The, the next there had been a very long band practice, and Roger couldn't leave because he'd missed a lot of days. He called Brian a couple of times in breaks, but there was no one home. Damn. Just two days ago he'd promised Brian that he wasn't leaving and now he'd disappeared from the globe like a certain bastard. No. He had to make this right, so he told the others that he wouldn't be available the next day at all. And then, to Freddie.

"Maybe you can use this time to think"

The next morning he dressed his best, put on some cologne and went to Brian's apartment. There was no one, but Roger decided to wait by the door until Brian came back. He was going to see him, yes or yes, and apologise for disappearing when poor Brian was so traumatised by that. With roses. And kisses.

Brian didn't think that he would see Roger again. The drummer was clearly a busy man, and Freddie had mentioned that they were supposed to be finishing the album already, that they were behind. At some point Roger would meet someone else, in the studio, in whatever place he'd left his car, maybe some fan in a concert. Brian would be a distant memory, some dude he'd crushed on and then forgot. He sighed.

He'd been dangerously close to being depressed before he'd met Roger, and the blond had brought some hope, some joy into his life. This was really not the time to be depressed, with money being so tight - he should be extra imaginative and energetic to find ways to provide for himself and Kat. And he couldn't just let himself go, this baby didn't deserve that, and neither did his daughter. But it was... complicated.

Of course he could manage everything alone, he always had, but he was very tired of having to do everything alone. He was tired of all the work, of all the long nights, of all the bad looks. He wanted somebody's shoulder to cry on, he wanted somebody who wold listen to his bitching and complaining, he wanted somebody to be there for him and Katrina. For some happy couple of days Roger seemed like he could be that person, but now... Brian was convinced that he would never seen him again.

And suddenly... there he was, seeing him again. Roger was waiting by the door, with that infectious smile and a dozen of red roses.

Brian couldn't understand.

".... Are you real?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He did seem real. Too many details for Brian to be making this up. Also Katrina was chanting "Goyerrrrrr" which probably meant Roger was indeed there.

"I got you flowers." Roger's smile was so infectious. It almost made all of Brian's very many issues seem small. "I called a couple of times, but you weren't there. You really should get an answering machine."

And just like that, it seemed that Brian wouldn't have to spend his life alone again. This was such an intense week, so many ups and downs... But it was nice to have Roger around, for however long it lasted. Brian decided to try and enjoy each moment Roger decided to spend with him, and try not to let his dark clouds take over him.

"Yesterday was crazy, man, Freddie was going against Paul almost as much as me, which is saying something, and it's been so intense... I love it when we can gang up on him, he's such a douche."

Brian smiled while he prepared Katrina's lunch as he listened to Roger, after putting the roses in water (such a nice gesture, really). Roger had such a different (but awesome) voice, and he was always so lively... A very nice ray of light to compensate for his many dark nights. He could barely believe that this man would be interested in him, of all people. And then there was a cramp and he grimaced. This pregnancy was being really hard on him.

"You go to the toilet if you need, I'll start giving her lunch."

"Thank you, Roger. You're a blessing."

So Roger was alone for a bit with Katrina and her big grey-blue eyes, she who was his absolute favourite child in the world, and decided to get some info.

"Your daddy seems a bit sad, little kitty Kat."

Katrina understood, as she always seemed to do.

"Very sad. Smile for me, but then is sad alone."

"How do I help him, how can I cheer him up? What does he like?"

"You."

Roger didn't think that he could like this kid more, but suddenly he did. She was certainly the best in the world, probably in the entire solar system.

"Well, I am doing my best to be here and cheer him up. Anything else?"

"Animals. Help animals."

That didn't seem like a bad idea.

"Thanks, Kat. I can always cont on you, you're such a champ."

And then there was a fake airplane with food going Katrina's way, just as Brian got out of the bathroom to watch both Roger and Kat smiling while she ate. It felt too good to be true, it felt impossible. Brian continued giving his daughter lunch, while they talked about music and previous bands, gigs and bad bandmates. Then Brian left Katrina napping and felt a surge of gratitude when he saw Roger standing there, in his living room. Roger seemed to understand that he couldn't go out much because a) he didn't have the money to eat out and b) he had a very small child. And he didn't seem to mind.

"Thanks for coming back, Roger."

Roger just took the other man by the waist and kissed him, long but soft, intensely, gently, making everything last as much as possible. Both Brian and Roger got lost in it, the intimacy, the gentleness, the warmth and the connection.

When it broke they looked at each other and Roger smiled.

"I told you I wasn't leaving."

And then there was a someone knocking and Brian frowned. He wasn't expecting anyone.

"I... have a bit of a surprise." Roger said, with one of his enormous grins.

He opened the door and in came, Freddie and John, with a bottle of champagne and another of sparkling water for those who couldn't drink alcohol to be able to toast. Brian understood nothing.

"What...?"

"Brian, darling, there you are! And there's that marvel of a guitar. Such a nice addition to our music."

"Sorry?"

The champagne was uncorked and there were some smiles going around.

"Welcome to Queen, Brian."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this fluff, next time there will be angst, as Brian's ex makes an unwelcome appearance. Please do tell if you liked this chapter too!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for domestic abuse. Hope you enjoy the angst nevertheless

Brian had never been in a honeymoon phase like this. Not only Roger was beautiful and great in bed, he was also incredibly smart, and talented and a great conversationalist. He had so many ideas about songs, about the news, about everything that was going around in the world, it was a joy to hear, to watch. The fact that now Brian was in they'd got rid of their previous guitarist (who Roger absolutely despised) only made him happier, and happiness made him affectionate.

Affectionate on the softest of times, and downright passionate in the times when they were alone and naked. Roger was even more impressive with no clothes, as impossible as that may sound, and he was a very dedicated lover. Raw yet gentle when he wanted, wild but gentle when he needed to be. Brian was really having the time of his life and had never thought that someone like Roger (the whole package! Sure, they disagreed in many things, but they still respected and admired each other) would talk to him, kiss him, turn his life around.

Sometimes Brian was afraid that he didn't deserve all of this, that Roger had the right to be with someone better, someone younger and prettier, someone with whom he could build a family of his own, someone better than a broke teacher with a kid and a half. Roger was such an incredible individual and famous too, all the fans of the band were crazy about him. Men and women who could give him something better than anything he had to offer, who were younger and fitter, less riddled with insecurities and obligations. Roger could and would probably have a better time with any of those people.

But he didn't. Roger Taylor, genius drummer and singer and lyricist, the man with the most golden blonde hair, with the bluest eyes, with the happiest smiles, had chosen him over everyone else, and who was, on top of everything else, incredibly good with his daughter, that treasure, that wonder of a man had chosen him over everyone else. It felt like a dream.

Roger had practically moved in after a couple weeks, claiming that his place was too far and had bad connections. Brian didn't complain. It was great to have someone else to look after Kat and help him with housework, someone to drive him to the studio and someone to kiss and cuddle when the evening turned to night. For a couple of weeks, Brian had been living a dream, suddenly happier than he'd been in a very long time. But of course, even the nicest dream have an end. Eventually he had to wake up.

It had been a pleasant Sunday, Brian had fake-mocked Roger's skills with the guitar, they've coloured some animal drawings from a colouring book with Katrina and they had chicken with potatoes with dinner. Roger had still been laughing at some dumb joke as he left for the bathroom, a smile in his lips.

And then the doorbell rang. Odd. Brian went to open it, and his smile fell when he did.

"Russ..."

He'd been his first serious love. Russ had been intelligent, handsome and very intense. He had strong political opinions, and very strong vocals. His and Brian's band had done some concerts together and Brian had been fascinated by his power, by his presence. He hadn't known back then.

The first few days were great. Russ couldn't drink for some medical issue, and he was articulate and charming and a very interesting person. Who knew art, and who knew history and who knew how to dissolve Brian into goo with some nice words. For the rest of the word, and for him then too, he was a perfect gentleman.

Then came the alcohol, and the jealousy (I only do this because I love you that much, you should be flattered) and the aggression. Really, Brian should have been glad when Russ decided to walk out. But he'd been left alone, with no band, no job, and a baby on the way. He had cried and blamed himself, over and over and over.

When he came back he told Brian that he'd changed. That he didn't drink or fight anymore, that he'd realised what a treasure he'd had and how much he wanted it back. It had been nice and Brian had believed him, when he said he was back for good, that he would help with Kat, that he was going to be there, and be better. And just when Brian started getting his hopes up...

"Thanks for the service, Bri."

There were some coins thrown on the bed.

"See you next year."

(He liked coming back and knowing that no matter what shitty things happened on his life, he always had Brian. Brian was his and his alone, but he wasn't good enough for every day)

It broke Brian. He still remembered the young boy he'd met. the great singer, the intelligent musician. And he'd let himself get eaten by drugs and rage. Now he enjoyed humiliating people. It was... awful. And now awful was back at his door, reeking of alcohol.

"Go away, Russ. I don't want you here."

"You gonna refuse me, Bri? You never were very good at that." He said, mockingly putting his index finger on Brian's belly.

"I mean it. Go away."

"No, I wanna come in, let me in, Bri. You know you want me here, too...Don't make me do something I don't want to." And fuck, Russ was much stronger than he ever was, suddenly he was inside and they were next to the hall's wall... And then there was a sound coming from the toilet (someone asking, "Who was it, Bri?") and Russ saw the two plates on the dinner table and saw red.

"YOU REPLACED ME?"

And before he could even register it, Brian was taken by the neck and his head was smashed against the wall next to him.

"You made me do this, Brian!"

Alarmed by the noises, Roger came out to find the most horrifying scene in the world. Brian was on the floor with a huge bleeding wound on his forehead, Kat was crying silent tears (trying to avoid this bad bad man noticing her) and there was some dark haired scruffy guy towering over the only half conscious Brian. NO.

"I KILL YOU!"

It was only a matter of seconds before Roger crossed this man's face with a fist, and then twice and then three times.

"Roger..."

"Brian, call the police!"

"And what are you going to say to the police, little whore? I'm that little girl's father and you don't live here and beat me up. Of the two of us, who do you think might end up in jail?"

That bastard had Katrina's eyes. It wasn't fair. Roger punched the man in the chest and in the stomach hoping it would shut him up for a bit. Then he punched the wall, and then again, because he didn't want to go to check on Brian with all that rage inside him. But he had to.

Brian was half sitting with his back against the wall, still bleeding, a bit disoriented. He'd managed to call the police but now was feeling dizzy. But it was okay. Roger would Katrina and that was all that mattered.

"Brian, love, hey, sweetheart, look at me."

That was Roger's voice.

"How bad is it? Should I call an ambulance?"

Roger helped Brian up, just as got up too. But before he could do anything else, the police got there. Apparently some neighbours had called before them.

"What's happening here?"

"This man right here" Russ said, suddenly sounding composed and much more sober. "Came into my house, while I was having dinner with my daughter ad assaulted my husband, and the me as you can see. Probably a disgruntled lover."

"How dare you! It was you who stormed in, you who bashed Brian's head on the wall, you disgusting two-faced shit!" Roger spat out.

"Sir?" The officer was looking at Brian but the words died in his mouth. If he spoke out Russ would be angry and he could come back and take it out on Roger, on Kat...

"Bad man." A voice said behind him. "Hurt my daddy. Bad man."

She'd been there the whole time, still in her high chair, playing with some tangerine skins. And she'd seen what had happened, seen her daddy bleed. It was so wrong.

"Oh, little kitty Kat. You shouldn't get in the middle of this."

The officers thought it wasn't such a bad idea. Toddlers couldn't lie, right?

"Who was the bad man, little girl?"

She pointed her tiny accusing finger towards this stranger who had broken her nice day.

"Hurt my daddy."

Brian wanted to hold her, but didn't want to scare her with all that blood.

"Goyer..." Roger took her, wiped some of her tears.

"Please take this man away. He hurt this little girl's father, he nearly tore down the wall." Okay, so some of that had been him, but they didn't need to know that. Katrina hugged Roger's chest, only making the police officers more convinced that it was Roger who was telling the truth.

They weren't kind when they cuffed Russ.

"There's a special place in hell for people like you. Assaulting a pregnant man? We'll make sure you stay inside for a long time."

"You can come to give your statement tomorrow morning." A police lady said kindly to Roger. "You make sure he's okay first."

Roger looked at Brian, still covered in blood. A special place in hell indeed.

"Thank you, officer."

The next minutes were calmer. Brian kissed Kat and held her so that she would know he was okay. He and Roger sang her some songs as they put her in the crib, so that she would know she was safe and protected. The bad man was gone, it was only daddy and Goyer. She fell asleep.

And then Roger and Brian were alone, and Brian cried on Roger's chest for a long while. He regretted so many things... This man could have hurt not just him, but his precious daughter, this wonderful man that had helped him so much... Roger could have ended up in jail for assault, had the police believed Russ. (Like he'd believed him so many times). He kept thinking this terrible things as Roger cleaned and dressed his head wound, both in the living room couch. (there was still blood in the hall. Roger was fucking pissed)

"Brian? Brian, look at me."

Brian did, with bloodshot eyes. Roger's knuckles were bloody too, and there was some anger buzzing around him.

"I'm going to call Miami, he's the band lawyer and we'll make sure that he stays locked up for a very long time, ok? He'll find anything on this guy and we'll make sure he stays in jail for years."

"I'm sorry..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me, Brian? Nothing. None of this is your fault, please, please, don't blame yourself. I'm okay, Kat's okay and you are going to be okay, too."

Brian put his tired head on Roger's chest, soothed by the blonde's heartbeat. After some time in silence, only broken by some hushing and caressing, Roger guided him to the bed, where, still quiet, Brian made himself a ball around Roger.

"Sleep now, my angel. I'm going to make sure you don't get hurt again, you and your daughter. I'll protect you."

Brian drew a small smile, despite everything. There was determination in Roger's voice.

"You have me now."

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Brian, darling! Look at your poor head! Did the doctors gave you an all clear? Could you get any pain medication that was safe for the baby? Still, we'll have our tour medic take a look at you, all right? I want to hear him say you're ok."

"Freddie, you don't have to..."

"Oh, here's Miami. What do you have for us?"

Brian felt awful. He'd just started in this band a couple of weeks and already was getting them involved with doctors and lawyers... He hated it.

"You really didn't have to do all this. I... I can't pay you back." Sad but true.

"Nonsense, darling! We're not going to lose you to some aggressive ex or some improperly healed head injury. Not after it took us so long to find you!"

"So, what's the news?" Roger asked, impatient. He wanted, needed to know that that man was not able to hurt Brian anymore.

"I've found three other people that were assaulted by this man, which means we can start a collective lawsuit. We can use the fact that the first girl has chronic pain as a result as an aggravating factor. Maybe the fact that Brian's pregnant too can be used as an aggravant too. That will keep him out of the street for a decade or two."

"We'll want more." Freddie said. If that man was sentenced to ten years he could come out in five, and go against Brian with a gun to kill him for putting him in jail. That wouldn't do.

"There's some drug related crimes around him, too, especially in the last two months. I'll just need to get some evidence, some testimonials, and if add that up... I think we'll get a nice twenty five years. And I'll ask for no parloe since the assaults have been happening for years."

"That's good. Do you hear that, Brian?"

"He didn't used to be like this, you know? Sure, he had a violent streak but he wasn't..."

He wanted to let Roger and the others know that he didn't seek out trouble, that the man he'd known had seemed a completely different person...

"It's okay, baby. I saw how he changed faces when the police came. He would have fooled anyone."

Brian smiled, tried to compose himself, say some decent words.

"Thanks again, really. This is much more than I could ever wish for. If he'd come back before I met Roger... I just. I can't express how grateful I am."

"You don't worry about that. You've already given our music so much, you've been coming to the studio every day, despite your... condition. You deserve this and more."

So for some short days, everything was good, everything was calm.

And then the scandal broke out. It was just pictures of Roger with Brian, both of them smiling and looking perfectly happy with each other. It was on one of the breaks from recording so Katrina was still in daycare, it was only them enjoying the other's company happily and how much music they had made. Not even kissing.

They actually got some more specialized gadgets and helpers so Brian could still play while very pregnant and he'd recorded most of the backing vocals already. Freddie was in the process of convincing him to record his song, the one from the audition, but it would take a while. In short, he'd become a full member of the band.

The band hadn't let out statement about yet, so the press just assumed this was Roger's new romantic partner and that the baby the stranger was carrying was his. There were lots of calls, lots of tabloids fabricating stories and lots of speculation. Articles terrible as this:

_"ROGER TAYLOR'S HIDDEN SECRET_

_Queen's famous drummer got a man pregnant while with somebody else!_

_Suzie Jennings, Roger's fling at the time, tells all. "He was constantly sleeping around" She confirms. "He's hurt a lot of people". "_

After a lot of silence and avoidance, Roger decided to say something, reply to get Brian out of the way, maybe stop Suzie from spreading out lies. He'd told the press that Brian was just working with the band and that he'd been pregnant when they met.

"Neither Suzie nor Brian are close to me, so you shouldn't trust what they say. They're not important to me or the band - just trying to get some money."

He left a quick message on Brian's answering machine telling him not to answer to any journalist and that they were taking a break while this whole thing blew over. (He didn't specify if it was a break from the band or the relationship, which made Brian all sorts of anxious). Everything that they'd built seemed to crumble, again. The band, Roger, the things that had been helping him get out of the hole where he was.

Roger was convinced that this was the best strategy - he wouldn't want to get poor Brian, or worse, Katrina, involved in messy tabloid drama. He was protecting them by staying away, by being apart from them. Brian would surely understand (he was a very smart man) and maybe would be grateful for the days of rest after so much rehearsing.

In a week or so there would be a new scandal and they would be able to go back to where they were. As if nothing had happened, just had a week to recharge.

But when they got back to rehearse and record Brian refused Roger. Refused to kiss him, refused to touch him, wouldn't even look at him. And Roger was getting pissed. He'd been waiting for this for what felt like one million years (only a week, but yeah) and had endured a lot of tabloid crap because of him... And now the damned man wouldn't even look at him. So he stopped him, grabbed him by the arm and asked.

"Brian, what is this?"

There was a hurt look in Brian's eye as he softly replied.

"Wouldn't want to get in the way of anything important."

Roger got even more pissed.

"You can't have believed that I meant that, Brian! After all I've done for you, really! Of course you're fucking important, I just said that to protect you."

Brian shook his head.

"All I had was a message from you saying not to talk to journalists and that we were taking a break. You saying I wasn't important in printed in newspapers."

"Oh, come on! You're a fucking astrophysicist and you couldn't figure this out?"

"Roger..."

"You can't be hurt by everything, Brian."

Brian just froze. He didn't want to cry and make Roger even angrier, but had no energy to face him after a whole week listening to those words over and over. Not important. Not important. (You never were)

"My head hurts real bad." He excused himself and left. He knew that fleeing wasn't going to solve the problem, but didn't know what else to do, how to fix this. Of course he didn't want to be this affected by everything, constantly afraid that nobody cared about him, but all the good things were just lies.... But he couldn't help it, and Russ' reappearance hadn't helped matters. He sat in the first broom closet he found, closed the door, put his head on the wall behind his head and closed his eyes, willing the world to stop existing.

*

Freddie was looking for their guitarist, worried.

Brian seemed to have had a difficult year, barely making ends meet, pregnant, had his head smashed against a wall by the father of his baby and now there had been a press scandal in which he was "the other". Freddie really liked the guy, and wanted to keep him with them for as long as possible, despite he being the most reluctant to take him in.

But Brian was an entirely different animal than they were, and had a unique point of view, a technical knowledge, a capacity for emotion, a sensitivity... He was able to create great music and enhance that already made, and they were lucky to have him. His rather difficult personal situation shouldn't get the middle of that.

When he found Brian in the broom's closet, Freddie took out some mops and sat next to him, wondering how someone like that had fit in such a small space. He was so long and big, stroking his big baby bump with a melancholy look. Freddie half-smiled and tried to find the right words.

"I'm sorry about this whole.... awful business. We should prbably had warned you about the press before you joined, huh?"

"It's not that." Brian said, with the faintest voice.

"It's Roger, isn't it? Well, he can be impatient sometimes. His head goes at speeds ours never could, and he just assumes the rest of them would get there too. That we should get there. He can be like that, but he really cares about you, I'm sure he'll be happy to take you back home and make up for lost time."

"It's not him, not really. He was right when he said that I can't let everything hurt me. I'm not just hurting myself, I'm hurting those around me. I'm probably hurting the baby too. But I don't know how to fix it, how to fix myself."

"But darling, you're not broken! You're just a bit of a sad soul. We all have our flaws and our low moments, but you're gettign out of this one, aren't you? Sure, you relapse sometimes, but that's only logical. After all that you've been through, the failed jobs, the band that abandoned you, that bastard doing all those horrible things he did to you... But you're still a great musician, and a great dad."

"And I shouldn't have assumed that you'd know I didn't mean it when I said you weren't important. I should made it clearer, reached out more. I just didn't want you involved in this whole thing." A third voice said belonging to Roger, who was suddenly squatting in front of them, blue eyes shining. When had he come?

"And I should have let you explain before being so cold and refusing you. I could have reached out, too, but I didn't, create my own horror film and took it out on you. I'm sorry."

Roger clumsily approached his boyfriend and there was a soft kiss. Freddie smiled in the background.

"I think we should call it a day, don't you, boys?"

"Roger..."

"Yes?"

"Would you like to come back with us, have some milk and cookies at home, maybe some dinner?"

"I'd love that."

They day that had started out so bad ended in a fairly positive note.

A couple of days later, there was a card on Brian's mail and another on Roger's. The one Brian received was colourful and vibrant and the message inside read "You're THE MOST IMPORTANT person I've ever known". The one Roger received was was more simple and classical.

It just said I love you.

 


	8. Chapter 8

To compensate a bit for the whole press ordeal, Roger took Brian and Kat to see penguins. They watched the penguins swimming, they watched them waddling around (and Kat tried to imitate them, it was hilarious) and they also saw the penguins being healed in the first aid centre, even got to touch one (thanks to Roger's contacts with one of the workers there). 

It was a great way to disconnect from the rest of the world, to remember and think about all the good things that they were able to enjoy and a way for Roger to show that, yes, he still cared about them, he still thought they were important. Fuck, Brian's smile as he showed Kat that those two penguins were kissing was probably the most important thing in the world. The most precious and special. 

It had been a surprise for Brian, who just thought they were going back to the studio, and suddenly found himself in a date of dreams. Roger had found a place that he absolutely loved, where Kat cold have fun too, and where there were lots of kisses and tenderness. It was absolutely ideal, and made him forget all about his insecurities with the beauty and the happiness those little animals brought. 

Even after they came back home, they were in a cloud of happiness and love, and there were kisses and hugs and penguin shaped plushies. They recovered much of the magic from the beginning, enjoyed the company, laughed, helped each other. It was a great to spend their day, forget about the bad moment that they'd had and focus on what they had now, and what they would in the future. So many good things.

*

Roger and Brian were cuddling in the couch while Katrina was napping in her crib. 

"You're so big." Roger mentioned, running his hand through Brian's belly.

Brian sighed. Everything was becoming harder and more uncomfortable the bigger he got.

"I know."

Roger was kind of excited.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"A boy. And he's bigger than Katrina was at this point, and I still have two months to go."

Brian seemed and worried, and Roger didn't like it.

"Are you scared?"

"Yes, I am, if I'm honest. Giving birth is quite a horrible experience, and since this baby is bigger it will probably take longer, which I'm not looking forward to."

Roger looked at his boyfriend with intensity. There was something that needed saying.

"I want to be there, with you."

"Roger, no."

But Roger was dead-set.

"You did it alone last time, right? And you just said that is scary and that is going to be long. You shouldn't be alone again. You deserve better. You don't have to do this on your own, not when you have someone. I told you you have me and you have me. Not just for the guitar solos and happy penguin days. For the bad stuff too." He was determined not to let anything hurt Brian again, or to at least be there to help when Brian hurt.

Brian looked at the blond man softly.

"You've already been in so much bad, Roger. You’ve been in my head being smashed against the wall, you’ve been in my “I don’t practically have money for food” dinners. You too deserve better. Been in enough bad."

It felt that Roger was doing all of these amazing things and he could barely reciprocate. It was hard trying to convince the others that he was a good addition to the band, looking after his daughter and after himself, with all the...issues that pregnancy brought. He wanted to do more for Roger, but didn't find the strength.

Roger buried his face in Brian’s neck. 

“But I want to be there. I want to be with you.”

“You shouldn’t, Roger. It’s going to be messy and bloody and long and horrible. We’ve barely got together – I don’t want you to see me like that.”

“But I don’t want you to be alone!”

“You sound like a broken record. I’ve been alone most of my life alone. I can do this too.”

“Just think about it, ok? You’re not alone anymore. You can have better.” Roger said, still comfortably preched on Brian's neck and shoulders. Brian tussled with that blonde mane, content.

“You’re too good to me, Roger.”

“I have never met somebody like you. I just want to pamper you one bit.”

Roger continued caressing the big belly while still perched on Brian’s neck. 

“Does it hurt a lot? Giving birth, I mean.”

“It does.”

“How long was it with Katrina?”

“About seventeen hours.”

“Jeez, that’s a lot.”

“Yeah, it felt like seventeen years. You stay with Katrina. You know how much she loves you."

"She can stay with John, and we both know she'll spend most of the time sleeping. And in the meantime, I'll be wanting eat my entire hand because I won't know how you are, only that you're in a lot of pain."

Brian sighed and looked at Roger, who kept talking. 

"You really don't want someone to hold your hand, kiss your forehead, tell you how well you're doing?"

"Of course I'd like that, but... It's complicated."

"Just think about it. And get Kat, we're going out for dinner."

"Again?"

"There are so many places we haven't tried out yet, Bri. So many delights the world has to offer us."

*

Katrina loved it when they went out. She loved when there were new people and she had strange foods served to her. She loved her father's smiles and all the weird faces Roger did to amuse her. She had a lot of fun. Everyone was having a great time and she had a lot of fun watching the people around them, listening to the background music, eating the new food. Knowing that this meant people were happy and celebrating. Clapping!!!

Before Roger appeared, they never went out to eat. They were at home and then in the park, but little much else. Her daddy didn't smile much, and when he did it was just for her sake and somewhere in the back of her head she knew it wasn't real. In some subconscious level, Katrina knew her daddy was going through a hard patch, that he wasn't happy. And she didn't like that, her daddy was literally the most important person in her world. 

And Roger... He brought them places, bought her candy and presents, and he had helped make her daddy happy again. Even if she didn't really get how babies worked, she knew things would change when her brother got there. But she also somehow knew that Roger would stay, and that there would be TWO (two!) people looking after them. More places, more smiles and lots of hugs.

She was really wishing that Roger would stay for very, very long. When other people came it often made daddy sad, which was bad. Daddy being sad made her world much more terrible, not good. But now that Roger was there daddy was happy, and Roger with his funky blue eyes (she wanted to touch them! Touch them) and weirdly bright hair was making their days better and she was enjoying herself a lot. 

"What are you thinking about, little kitty Kat?" Roger asked, noticing the little girl looking at him. 

"Happy." She said, and honestly, looking at her, and her bright eyes, and at how beautiful Brian was, with his sharp fanged smile and his one million curls falling on his shoulders and looking radiant in his denim jumpsuit, baby bump and all. 

"Have to agree with you there, little kitty Kat. Happy."

For one moment, there was nothing in the world but happy.


	9. Chapter 9

The next weeks went by quite calmly, too. Feeling more reassured on his relationship with Roger, Brian focused more on the band, on playing what he could, on singing on giving back. He wanted to let the others know that he cold be more than just a burden, that he could help the band. And Freddie and John were glad to see just how much their new guitarist was ready to give, even after all he'd been through, even when he was very pregnant. Roger smiled, knowing that he'd made the right choice in choosing Brian both for the band and for his life.

And then there was a meeting and the dark clouds were back. The record executive was saying that Brian couldn't be there because he couldn't play, and Roger was screaming at him. Brian just looked with a distressed expression, holding his big belly tightly, trying to drown the screams.

"We can not say no right now, Roger, this is necessary for the band!" The stranger said.

"We agreed to wait! We agreed to postpone any tour! We've been slaving on the recording studio to give a much better album than you ever could imagine, but it was on the condition that we didn't tour until Brian could play!"

That was true. The album was better - they really could wait until Brian came back and still had a following and people interested. The man was having none of that.

"Just take Paul. It's what people are expecting, nobody will know the difference."

"I will know the bloody difference! Just cancel the bloody thing, we're waiting for Brian." Roger was determined and angry and bored of repeating himself. That tour wasn't happening until Brian was back and that was it.

"No, we aren't waiting."

Brian was starting to feel short of breath. The air seemed to be getting scarcer.

"Ok, then you'll have to tour without a drummer too, because I'm not fucking going to the concerts either." There was danger in Roger's eye. Red rage.

"You have a contract, Roger Taylor! Are you really going to ruin a deal with a record company just over... this? Some guy you've been fucking for a couple months?"

There was no air in the room. Brian's breath became quicker, shallower. There was no air.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SUCH A PITIFUL PERSON! Brian is a member of Queen now, and you can't do anything about it, and any tour will have to include him."

Brian felt horrible that he was being the cause of all this tension, all this anger, all this problems. He held his belly tighter. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe!

"But he can't tour, can he? He won't be able to tour now, like he couldn't with his previous band, and like he won't be able when you knock him up too...."

Brian decided that he couldn't take this anymore and stormed out of the room, trying to find some air, to be able to breathe. Closed the door behind him, hoping nobody would follow, and collapsed on the floor.

The air had deserted him, he'd begun to feel light headed, and as much as he felt bad for not being able to stand his ground and defend Roger's view of things, he wouldn't help his case that much by passing out in front of the record executives. He needed the air. He needed to breathe. No, he would give them more fodder for their arguments against him if he continued like this.

He shakily got to an armchair in front of the meeting room and managed to sit, despite it being quite difficult. His ass didn't fit in many chairs now, it was so big. Yet another on the never-ending list of "problems of Brian May". No wonder the record executives didn't want him. He was a mess in practically every aspect of his life, he cracked very easily, and the band and their great sound deserved better.

He should probably leave, but he didn't want to. He doubted he would ever get an opportunity like this in his lifetime, the music was so good, the guys so nice... They'd even made space for a couple of his songs on the album, sang them, complimented him for writing such sincere and great music. He really, really didn't want to go. But everything was so complicated....

He put his hands on his face, closed his eyes. Tried to find some air again, fought off the tears, and breathed. Long deep breaths, Brian.  _The rest of the world does not exist, not the plants around you, certainly not the screams behind the closed door in front of you_ . Only the darkness before his eyes and the air in his lungs.  _Just breathe._

In. Out. In. Out.

When he felt he could finally breathe again, he opened his eyes and found someone looking at him.

"Brian, dear. Are you all right? Do you need a doctor?"

Freddie's eyes were kind, and Brian felt his own eyes fill with tears again.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Brian, stop."

The voices behind the door only got louder and it was suddenly too much. The whole fight, his still screaming hormones, the lack of air, people around him... Brian felt his stomach turn, his breakfast making itself known, again. God he really didn't want this. But he could feel it coming so.... He ran as quick as he could with how big he was, and was violently sick on the sink of the nearest toilet. He cursed himself for vomiting in front of one of the best singers of all time.  _How will a successful band want you when you're such a mess?_

Freddie cleaned the sink carefully and then Brian's face. He couldn't imagine how a situation as stressful as this could affect someone who was about eight months pregnant. He should be at home picking pretty tiny clothes, not being screamed at by execs. A bit of sickness was absolutely understandable. It was such a complicated situation, but all of them were on the same side. On his side.

"I didn't... wanted you to see...."

"Don't worry about that, ok, darling? Record people have just majored in being mean and horrible. They were terrible with John too, didn't release the singles we wanted, wouldn't give us the money we earned... It's not just you. You're doing great, darling."

They got out of the bathroom and back into the hallway.

"I'm sorry to be putting you through so much trouble, really."

"Don't be stupid, dear. You're an incredible musician and we're lucky to have you. And those meanies... well, they have no case. Nobody will go anywhere without you, and if there's some legal issue Miami will solve it."

Brian felt his heart drop.

"You have so much faith in me, you and Roger... I don't know.... if I can live up to...."

Freddie motioned for a hug, and Brian gladly accepted. The singer ran a nice big hand on his back and put his hand on the other man's head, as he hummed a lullaby. Brian had only been there with them for a few weeks, and he'd certainly brought a lot of drama with him, but there had also been many good days on the studio.

The songs he brought had given the album a levitas and a variety of sounds that none of the others had, and the sound of the backing vocals now....Amazing. He was also a very clever man, with a lot of great ideas to make the music bigger, stronger, even to make the instruments sound better. (John was glad to have someone technically inclined in the band too). And Brian was a good man too, and he didn't deserve all the crap the world had decided to put on him.

So Freddie continued to embrace the man (which was no easy feat, with Brian's big belly getting in the way) and stayed there for a while, until the door opened and people came out. Brian made himself smaller in the singer's strong arms to avoid seeing the executives, even if he knew that he should be pulling himself together, putting a strong image.

"Fred!" A familiar voice said, with a playful tone. "No stealing my man!"

Brian dislodged himself from Freddie and looked at his boyfriend fondly, while Freddie pouted next to him.

"But sharing is caring, Roger darling!"

Brian smiled.

"What happened?"

"They'r threatening to to sue, which is honestly stupid. The contract clearly says that if one of us is in medical leave all appointments will have to be rescheduled. And if it was a broken leg they would, which is what pisses me off. It's just because you're pregnant. But we got a call from Miami and he shut them up quite nicely. Don't worry, Bri. You're good."

Freddie nodded, glad.

"And you're as much part of the band as any of us, now. The album's practically finished and is better thanks to you. Stop fretting."

John came out with the last of the record people, who looked pissed.

"In fact... Miami just faxed your medical leave papers after a nice chat with your doctor. Which is why those bloodsuckers had to leave empty handed and which means that you can spend the rest of the pregnancy resting as you should be, and still get paid."

Brian looked around, hopeful. The truth was, he was pretty tired. Maybe this last bout sickness had been his body asking him to stop.

"Really? You won't mind?"

John and Freddie shook their head, the bassist speaking first.

"I'll love some time off, really. Bless you and that baby."

"You look after yourself, darling, make sure you're as strong as possible when the little one comes. And don't worry about your place in the band. We won't let anyone take your place, all right? You just worry about your health and your family." Freddie said, honest.

"I'm going to pamper you so bad, Brian! So very bad."

Brian smiled.

He could finally breathe in peace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you like a pampering ep with Kat and preparing baby thing or going directly to the birth? (I thought I could continue this story for longer but almost everyone seems to have lost interest so) Would love it tom hear if you liked the ep!


	10. Chapter 10

The days went by peacefully. Roger was making sure that Brian was in good spirits and good health, Brian made sure to show his gratitude and appreciation every day. They were getting to know each better, and although there were things about the other they didn't like, they were building the bases for something solid, something lasting. A good solid relationship - and they were enjoying this time off immensely.

Roger was out of control buying things for the baby and Kat (so she wouldn't feel left out). There were mobiles, tiny clothes, toys, all sort of powdered foods and supplies, baby bottles, pacifiers, every bit of baby paraphernalia that there was, because Roger wanted this baby to have everything, and Kat too. They had decided that Roger would move in and stay there to help out with the baby - maybe it was too soon, but the help was very much appreciated and Roger was going to be there at all hours any way, so there was not a lot of discussion about it.

Brian was getting a bit anxious about the birth, mostly because the pregnancy had been harder than his previous one, the baby was bigger and he'd gone through a lot of changes and bad stuff while pregnant with this baby, which was probably not good for him. He'd been quite depressed in the beginning, then he met Roger and things changed, then he got all nervous about the band (being a good band member, working hard despite being pregnant, fearing he wasn't doing enough...) and then Russ appeared, and bashed his head against the wall… His health had a lot of ups and down, both physical and mental. Lately he'd been having a lot of those false contractions and Brian was quite certain that it was going to be a complicated birth, and feared something bad might happen to the baby.

But he was able to distract himself by planning and having nice gestures with Roger. He bought him car parts, made him his favourite food, invited him to shower together. He wanted the blonde to know that even though his children were going to be the most important aspect of his life, he was up there too, on the most important people for him. Brian was very grateful to have someone as loyal and energetic as Roger in his life, and wanted the drummer to experience his gratitude. His deepest gratitude.

Roger absolutely loved all the little gestures, like the tickets for a race he’d mentioned, the late night cuddling, or just Brian buying random stuff and saying “I thought of you”. One day when Roger came home there was a picture of the two of them framed, next to a bunch of Kat’s baby pictures. It was so sweet, fuck.

And Roger wanted to give back too. He knew these last weeks of pregnancy could be quite tough, that all of Brian’s body was hurting, that he was more tired than ever, that his stomach was bothering him almost every day, that the baby wouldn’t stop kicking, that he got a lot of those not real contractions. It was painful, it was stressful and it was good that he didn’t have to look after his daughter alone, that there was somebody.

Roger sometimes heard people partying down the street and missed that. Not that long ago he’d been there with them, the life and soul of the party. Having laughs, drinking excessively, smoking so many cigs every day… And he’d enjoyed that.

“You don’t have to stay with us, you know. You can go and have fun - you should. Just because I have to stay here doesn’t mean…”

“But I don’t want to go.”

That was true as well. Part of him missed the wild life he used to have, but he didn’t want to leave Brian’s side. He wanted to cling to him, to be with him, in this house that felt more his own than any place he’d been before, knowing that the little kitty Kat was around, playing or napping, or looking at books with her big eyes. Being there was the better choice, Roger knew, despite wanting to do other things.

Besides, he was sure he would party too, when Brian’s kids were a bit older. That way he could have the best of both worlds, the music and fun, a loving partner and wonderful kids (ok, so he only knew Katrina so far but Roger could absolutely tell that this little boy was going to be great too). So Roger just made other plans with Brian and Kat, things that they could do together even if Brian was about to burst (he was so so big, but still - so sexy dear lord).

They watched a lot of telly, they sang, all three of them. Sometimes John and his kids came to visit, and Katrina had people to play with and they talked with John about anything and everything. Sometimes Freddie came, always with presents, always with a smile. It was nice, now that they didn’t have the album dates and execs looming over them, that the papers had been sorted out, the band was complete, Russ was in jail, Roger and Brian were in love and had everything prepared for this new baby… Things were going right, for once.

They were able to catch a break, finally, after so many ups and downs. Roger felt great. He had an awesome album almost finished, the man he loved was going to join them in their tours and he’d found that he loved being a parent (yes, Kat was his daughter already, all right). He bought a lot of chocolate things for Brian, because he was going to go through something terrifying and he deserved something nice, before and after.

Having a baby was scary as fuck, and Roger wasn’t the one who had to… birth him. But still, he was scared, because many things could go wrong, and Katrina’s birth had already been really long, and what if having this baby hurt Brian in some way, what if he lost him, what if….

Trying to distract himself, Roger took Brian and Katrina to a nice farm on the mountains.

Bad idea.

Brian started having contractions, real ones this time, when they were coming back, but still miles away from any hospital.

There was blood on the car seat. Katrina was crying. Brian was trying to drown out his screams.

Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments mean the world :)


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